New Year’s Resolution That Isn’t What You Think…

Every beginning of the year, the world shouts: New year, new you!

Burn the holiday treats.

Hit the gym.

Lose weight.

Push harder.

Be disciplined.

I wish I could join them.

I wish I could start my year with exercise and eating better because I overate.

But that isn’t the life I live anymore.

Not for me.

Not for my people …

Those living with Long COVID, ME/CFS, post-infectious illness, fibromyalgia, dysautonomia, invisible illnesses.

For us, the mantra is simple:

Don’t exercise.

Don’t overdo it.

Early in my illness, I told my doctor my body was swollen, my energy vanished, my systems ached.

His advice? “Try exercising. Go for walks.”

He spoke from his world, not mine.

He didn’t know what it feels like to have:

• every bite of food measured

• every breath a mountain

• every movement a gamble

Some days I can barely move, barely eat, barely exist.

And if I could eat freely, those sweets everyone bemoans would be a gift … not a weight to lose.

So when people comment on “overeating” or “laziness,” it cuts like a knife.

I wish I had their problem:

• energy to burn

• muscles that recover

I don’t.

My world is smaller now.

My world is measured, careful, tender.

And my body?

It asks for one thing I wish I could deny and just be normal, but cannot: Gentleness.

Rest.

Listening.

Compassion.

That is my resolution.

Not because it is easy. Not because it is glamorous.

But because it is the only way to survive, the only way to slowly rebuild from years of energy lost, from mitochondria that falter, from systems that collapse when pushed too far.

This year, my resolution is simple: Be gentle and kind to my body, even when I want to scream at the injustice of being tethered to the couch.

We may not be able to chase the resolutions the world hands out, but in honoring our limits, resting into health, and defending our fragile energy, we are claiming a new kind of victory.

We are not failing.

We are surviving.

We are resting into healing.

So raise your TV remote with me and honor where you are.

You are not alone.

You matter.

You are seen.

And you deserve to rest and heal in the way your body needs.

Much Love Always,

~ Dr. Rachael